I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
