Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
