we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
