Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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