Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
