I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
