dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
