Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
