lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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