found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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