I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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