I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
