whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
