Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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