what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
