What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
