If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
