Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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