whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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