Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
