Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
