in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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