i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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