I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
