He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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