When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
