There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
