brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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