Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
