i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
