i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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