There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
