ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
