I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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