I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
