dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
