I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
