One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
