Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
