We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
