Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
