I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
