I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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