she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
