Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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