i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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