The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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