It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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