i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
