The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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