My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
